CHAPTER THREE
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C H A P T E R 3

New York City 2006

The next morning Katie woke up without her usual day-after-the-Emmys

hangover. She’d been so determined to prove to Teddy—and herself—how

happy she was that she’d stayed sober. When hammered at industry parties,

she had been known to trash the life’s work, and Teddy always remembered

every word of her rants. She didn’t want to give him any ammo until she was

absolutely sure that he’d gotten over his I’m-firing-you-for-your-own-good

thing. So she’d been on a mission to adore everyone—the writers she

worked with, the network suits, even the idiot repairman/actor from the

reality show. Instead of going for her usual early exit, she’d insisted on partying

until the bitter end, and had fallen into bed at four in the morning.

When she finally emerged from her bedroom the next day, it was ten

o’clock. She never stayed in bed that late. As the child of an actress who’d

had to be at the studio at six am, awake and functioning, Katie had learned

young not to sleep in. Now, as she wandered into her kitchen for her first cup

of coffee of the day, she looked at her co-op as if she were seeing it for the

first time. The apartment, which she’d inherited from her mother—score

one for Teddy—was in a prewar building on Riverside Drive on the Upper

West Side. When Rosalind had purchased it in the seventies, it had cost a

pricey-for-the-time thirty-seven thousand dollars. Today it was probably

worth upwards of two million. Katie had never bothered to find out exactly

how much, because she’d always assumed she’d live there until she died.

It was a big space for Manhattan, with an eat-in kitchen, a living room,

a dining room, two bedrooms, and a bath and a half. The half bath had a

partial view of the Hudson River. Rosalind had redecorated it every few

years, but the basic color scheme had always remained the same: white, silver,

and liberal splashes of the same shade of turquoise as her fabulous

eyes. After her mother had died, Katie had purchased a comfy brown sofa

with plans of redoing the place to suit her own taste. Somehow she’d never

gotten around to it, so the drab little sofa crouched unhappily in the midst

of Rosalind’s glitz. However, the apartment was still Katie’s home, and leaving

it was out of the question. Or was it? Would she be better off in some

trendy neighborhood in a building where the doormen hadn’t known her all

of her life? Where were the trendy neighborhoods, anyway?

“Damn Teddy,” she said out loud as she turned on her coffeemaker—her

purchase, not one of Rosalind’s, thank you very much—but there was no

point in blaming Teddy. The truth was, she was living with Rosalind’s handme-

downs. But why not? Rosalind’s hand-me-downs were terrific. Her late

mother had been one of those force-of-nature people.

In 1975, when Rosalind Harder waltzed into New York to become a star,

she came armed with her well-documented beauty, a will of iron, and not

much more. Her acting experience consisted of playing the lead in every

show presented at her Alabama high school and working for one season as

an apprentice in a professional summer stock company. She’d never told

Katie the name of the theater. “It was a terrible old place,” she said when

asked. “It’s been closed forever.”

In addition to looks and determination, Rosalind brought a toddler to

the city with her. The official, if somewhat hazy, story about little Katharina’s

father was that he’d been married to Rosalind for just a few months

before he was killed in Vietnam. It had happened before his child was born,

and his brave young widow was too pained to talk about it—or him. This

gooey version of the facts had kept the press at bay—in the seventies, the

soap opera magazines weren’t exactly hotbeds of investigative reporting—

but Katie had always had her doubts. For one thing, there were no pictures.

While Katie could imagine that her mother might find it a downer to keep

photos of her dead husband lying around, there was no way that Rosalind

wouldn’t have hung on to at least one shot of herself on her wedding day.

On top of that, she had always refused to tell Katie the man’s name. The

one time when Katie had pressed her about him, she had screamed, “Just

be glad I never let myself get stuck with that pussy-whipped mama’s boy!”

All of this secrecy made Katie think that perhaps her mother was being

less than honest with her loving fans in TV land. It was Katie’s take, never

publicly aired, of course, that her father probably had been a soldier, and

might even have bought it in the jungles of Vietnam, but that he and her

mother had never actually done the for-richer-or-poorer ceremony. That

would explain why Rosalind’s grandmother—the woman who had raised

Rosalind—had never met Katie. “Gran’s the kind of good Christian who just

makes you want to go out and start sinning, ” Rosalind said once of the only

relative she and Katie had.

After giving birth, Rosalind had scraped together enough money to

come to New York. Katie was never sure exactly how she’d done it; that was

another part of the story Rosalind left murky. The part that happened after

Rosalind got to New York, though, had been well reported in the fan mags.

One week after arriving in the Big Apple, the intrepid Rosalind landed a

job as a showroom model in the garment district, and found an apartment

in a marginally safe neighborhood. She made an arrangement with the

woman who lived across the hall to watch young Katharina while she was

working—those were more innocent days when you could still trust your

neighbors—and went to auditions on her lunch hour. That was how Teddy

found her. He was working in a third-rate talent agency that held cattle calls

to drum up the client list, when she marched in to do Ophelia’s mad scene

from Hamlet. Her matter-of-fact delivery and dazzling looks couldn’t have

been more wrong for Shakespeare’s fragile ingénue, but Teddy thought she

might be right for the lead on a new soap opera that was casting.

There was a tiny hitch: the low-end agency Teddy worked for handled

actors who worked as extras, and day players who had less than five lines

per show, while the part of Tess Jones on All Our Lives was a starring role.

Teddy never should have been able to land an audition for Rosalind, but he

was young and cute, and after making a couple of promises he had no intention

of keeping, he got her in the door. Rosalind took care of the rest.

Some fashion magazine had dubbed the winter of 1975 the Season of

the Thoroughbred Girl, and they might have been talking about Rosalind

Harder. She “borrowed” an outfit from the showroom where she was modeling

and strolled into her audition wearing a white suede shirtdress with

pale hose that showcased her world-class legs, and a white silk scarf that

set off her hair and eyes. The casting director dragged the producer out of

a crucial meeting to watch her reading. When it was over, the Queen of

Daytime—as they called Rosalind four years later when she posed for the

first TV Guide cover ever given to a soap actress—was born.

Katie grew up on the set of All Our Lives. When she was small, the dressing

room next to her mother’s was made into a playroom for her. When she

was old enough to attend high school, that same dressing room was where

she did her homework. Each day, after she’d finished her math and social

studies, she was allowed to go sit in the makeup room and watch the monitor

above the mirrors as the show was being taped.

The makeup room was the heart of the studio; all of the actors congregated

there to hang out, gossip, and to beg someone, anyone, to cue them

on their lines. Soap actors were always desperate to run their lines. They were

under-rehearsed, they were working way too fast, and every day they had to

absorb wads of dialogue that sounded exactly like the dialogue they had

memorized the day before. The cast of All Our Lives quickly discovered that

the shy kid sitting in the corner of the makeup room was happy to help

them, and they exploited her shamelessly. They also discovered that when a

clunky phrase wouldn’t stick in the brain, the kid could come up with a way

to paraphrase it so that it did stick—and it sounded more like human

speech. Members of the cast began asking Katie to smooth out their

speeches. Naturally the show’s writers started screaming. Some of these

writers were clients of Teddy’s—by that point he had his own agency and

was handling writers, directors, and producers as well as actors—but his actors

told him the girl was amazing.

Like any good agent, Teddy watched the show every day, and he began

paying special attention to the scripts he knew Katie had altered. He realized

immediately that the actors were right, Rosalind’s little girl had real talent.

So thanks to Teddy, Katie worked on the All Our Lives staff as an intern

during all of her school vacations. Two days after she graduated from college,

she had her first gig as a scriptwriter for the show.

All of this was done with Rosalind’s blessing. Eventually. At first, the

idea of her child working on her turf, and possibly grabbing some of her

spotlight, had brought on a meltdown—it had happened in Teddy’s office

where no one else had seen it—but Katie had quickly disappeared into the

ranks of the faceless writers who toiled in the background, and Rosalind

had relaxed. In time, she came to see the advantages of having her own personal

in-house writer to bitch at when the scripts weren’t to her liking. Fortunately

for everyone, the All Our Lives writing staff was never nominated

for an Emmy on a year when Rosalind wasn’t.

Katie poured herself a cup of black coffee—after years of drinking the dayold

coffee on soap sets, she liked hers dark and mean—and walked quickly

into the bedroom. Enough with all the second-guessing and doubting, she

told herself. She was going to get dressed, go down to the lobby, get her

mail, and do something useful with her day. Full of purpose, she started

dressing. But the talk with Teddy just wouldn’t go away.

“Okay, exactly what is your plan for the future?” she asked herself out

loud as she pulled on her sweats. Talking to herself was a habit she’d picked

up as a kid. Back then it had been a great way to clear space on a crowded

New York street, but these days people just thought she had an invisible

earpiece for her cell phone. “I’ll re-sign with Teddy and re-up my contract

with All Our Lives,” she answered herself.

For as long as it’s around, added an unpleasant little voice in the back of

her head.

“And when it’s not around, Teddy will find me a gig on another show.”

Katie pulled socks and sneakers over feet that were swollen from the killer

sandals.

And then what? the voice in her mind persisted.

“Then . . . that’s it. I’ll hang on until the pensions kick in and I can retire.”

For another thirty-five years? Really?

“So I’ll try to get a job on the staff of a nighttime show.”

Lots of luck, with a résumé that has nothing but daytime credits. Nighttime

producers think daytime writers are something you scrape off the bottom of

your shoe. Plus, you’d have to move to L.A.

“I’ll do what I have to do—when the time comes. Not now.” She finished

dressing, dragged a brush through her hair, and looked at herself in

the mirror. “I could always just slash my wrists,” she said to her image. It

was the kind of over-the-top line she’d have cut from any of her scripts, if

she’d ever been demented enough to write it. “Hack,” she said to the Katie

in the mirror. And on that happy note, she walked out of her apartment, got

into the elevator, and went down to the lobby.

The mail had arrived and it had already been sorted. There was an envelope

in her mailbox for her. She reached for it, and then read the return

address twice when she saw the unfamiliar writing and postmark. It was

from somewhere in Georgia, from a lawyer she’d never heard of.

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